


Find the Cure

by Spaceytrash



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Cancer, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Mentions of Cancer, Sad with a Happy Ending, Terminal Illnesses, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:34:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22092643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spaceytrash/pseuds/Spaceytrash
Summary: After some time of having problems with is health, Graham secretly went to his doctor to find out what was wrong. Only to have his worst fear confirmed. Can the fam help him and find a solution for his problem?
Comments: 7
Kudos: 9





	Find the Cure

**Author's Note:**

> I needed to work through my fear what could happen to Graham in the upccoming season(s), so this was written. It's just purely me working through my fear and nothing more.

This really wasn’t his idea of a good time. Actually, it was rivalling to be one of the worst. Of course, it never could rival the feeling of absolute devastation and sadness he had felt in the light of Grace’s death. Yet, at this exact moment he felt like shit and his nerves were on the verge of getting the best of him.

The Doc had thought a short break in Sheffield was in order, so Yaz could visit her family and they could just relax for a while. Normally he would have liked it, revelled in the down time and let his body and mind regroup. Look after the house, visit Grace, and just let the surprising calm of the city, next to the alien excitement, wash over him. But not this time. No, today he was sitting in a bland white hospital waiting room, his back and behind already hurting and getting numb from the hard and uncomfortable chair he was sitting on. His right leg was nervously bumping up and down and he was shifting slightly.

He had snuck away from the Tardis to go see his oncologist in secret. Not wanting them to worry unnecessarily, especially Ryan. The lad had already gone through so much in the past few months and he didn’t need Graham to add to it. Especially with considering the fact that they had actually grown much closer than before, recently. There was no need for him to worry about an old codger like Graham and he should just have a chance to enjoy his life.

For a few weeks already Graham, himself, was getting continuously more nervous. The first time he had experienced strong stomach pains and constipation he hadn’t been too worried, thinking it was just from the emotional pain of Grace’s death and the exciting new circumstances he now found himself in. But when it returned more often, his back began hurting more than usual and he grew tired more quickly in general, he had begun to worry.

Of course, his first thought had been a recurrence of his cancer, but he quickly shoved it away. He didn’t want to think about it, so he chose to ignore it for a while. Well as long as he possibly could. Which grew harder the longer time went on and the pain prevailed, until he couldn’t ignore it any longer.

The thought of his cancer having returned freezing him with fear and dread, making him numb, but also not letting him go, festering and torturing him in not only his every waking hour but also in his dreams.

After weeks of pain he immediately jumped on the idea, when the Doc suggested a small break in Sheffield. He had called his doctor to ask for an appointment from his newly upgraded phone, which he had gotten from the Doc after a few days in the Tardis, and surprisingly got two appointments for the week they were staying in town.

So, this is why he was now sitting on a cold hard chair in this bleak white hospital waiting room and nervously waited for his name to be called. Two days ago, he had already been here, the excuse he gave back in the Tardis was that he was meeting some old mates from his bus driving days and had went through a myriad of tests and got called back today for his results. Which in his mind didn’t bode well.

“Graham O’Brien,” a mechanical voice called out.

He stood up and went towards his oncologist’s office. His hands clammy and his heart hammering in his chest. Somehow, he just had a bad feeling about this.

It was a nice and warm room with a calming atmosphere. The walls were filled with bookshelves and awards, while behind the desk where two film posters. Normally he quite liked the room, since the kind of cosy feeling of it almost always made his nervousness disappear. But this time he didn’t take notice of it at all, his mind trapped in his state of worry. He just sat down on the patient chair in front of the desk, his hands fidgeting and looked up at his doctor, the kind brown eyes of him helping him get focussed again.

Dr. James Wilson had been his oncologist and doctor since he first found out about having cancer. The kind attitude the man always sported had helped him through his numerous treatments almost as much as Grace’s kind heart and care had.

“Hello Graham. I do hope you had a nice day,” the doctor waited until he saw a nod, “but let’s get to the point, shall we? I have your test results. I made them a priority since you’ve told me you wanted to travel a bit soon”

Graham only nodded. He wished Dr. Wilson would go on and just tell him what’s going on without the usual chitchat. One of his hands was moving to the frog necklace around his neck, pulling it out and letting his finger’s play with it, in an attempt to calm himself and find comfort in his wife even after her death.

“Since I know you must be pretty nervous, I just get straight to the point. You’re CEA levels are slightly elevated, so we did a CT the last time you were here, as you well know. I’m sorry to say this Graham but you do have a recurrence. It’s stage 4 and has very likely spread to your liver…,” Wilson’s voice was soft and empathetic, trying to explain wat was going to happen in the best way possible but he had stopped listening.

It felt like his heart had dropped to his stomach and the beating and pulsing was all he could feel and hear. His hands had started to shake, and his throat was suddenly dry like a desert. The hand around the necklace had gripped it tightly, the metal slightly cutting into his skin. The room started to spin a bit, but he ignored it, all he noticed where the shaking of his hands and his beating heart. All he could think of where the words “recurrence” and “spread”. He had feared this would happen, but he still had harboured hope to the contrary. Having it removed like that was a heavy blow and it felt like the world had been pulled from under his feet. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening. Not after everything he had already gone through. It just wasn’t fair.

Suddenly he felt a warm hand on his shoulder, and he flinched a bit. Looking to its source he noticed that Dr. Wilson had moved next to him and was trying to comfort him, he guessed. He was saying something, but Graham had no idea what. His heat beating too heavily and his blood rushing too loudly to understand what the other was saying.

He closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on calming down. All he wanted right now was to be alone and leave this room, but he could only do that if he calmed down enough for his legs to stop shaking and start working again. Breathing deeply in and out for a few times he felt his panic lessen slightly. It was still ever present, but he felt his legs to stop shake and his heart wasn’t hammering quite as fast in his chest. Without another word he stood up, nodded shortly to his doctor and then left, well more fled from the room. He had no idea what he wanted to do, or where he was going but he just knew he needed to walk away. As far away and as quickly as he could. The news making him want to move, rage, scream and even cry. He had just lost Grace and now that he and Ryan finally came to an understanding, life was threatening everything once again. It just wasn’t fair.

He didn’t know where he was going but he knew he wanted a drink. He wasn’t really a drinker but right now he needed something that would help him calm down. Without even thinking his feet carried him to a close bar that was open.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

It had been a week since he had learned that his cancer had not only returned but also spread. After he had had a beer and had calmed down from his first shock, he had returned to his house and tried to act like everything was normal and like nothing had happened with moderate success. Ryan probably had noticed something was off but for some inexplicable reason hadn’t mentioned it, for which Graham was really grateful. He was probably just thinking that Graham had been feeling down because he had visited Grace, but no matter why, he was glad he hadn’t needed to lie to him.

He wasn’t sure how to tell the others, especially Ryan, so he just didn’t. There wasn’t really anything they could do, so there was no actual need to tell them, at least not for a while. Deep down he knew it was wrong and they deserved to know but he just couldn’t get himself to come out with it.

That is why he was now in the Tardis, a week since his appointment, trying to ignore the questioning looks he saw them throw in his direction. Today he had forgotten to pack lunch for himself and snapped at Ryan slightly when he had wanted to help him up after he had fallen during an escape. It hadn’t been one of his brightest moments but at least he was able to blame it on the missed lunch and not the real reason. Even though he knew that they hadn’t really believed his explanation, they had thankfully let it go for now.

He sighed, their looks slightly getting on his nerves and he stood up to go to his room. But when he tried, he felt his stomach cramp up, in a pain he had experienced far too often recently. He couldn’t hold back the pained moan that escaped his mouth and he knew everyone was surely looking at him now.

“Are you okay?” he heard Ryan ask and he nodded. Trying to push through the pain and go to his room.

“You should sit down, if you’re not feeling well. Have you hurt yourself on our run back to the Tardis? Tell me where it hurts and I might be able to do something,” the Doc’s cheery but worried voice rang through the console room.

She stepped towards him and when Graham just shook his head and just kept standing up, she scanned him with her sonic. Her face turning from worry to sadness, when she saw the results of her scan. “Graham…”

He shook his head, trying to signal her to stop talking. The pain was almost gone again now, but his heart was heavy and beating loudly in his chest. If she didn’t stop talking the others would surely find out too, since he was sure she just realized why he was in pain. And he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that.

But of course, it didn’t go like he planned. He saw that Yaz looked worried and so did his grandson. Ryan took a step closer to him, fear and uncertainty clearly visible on his face. “What’s going on? Is Graham okay?”

Graham saw the Doc shake her head. She was still watching him with shock and worry. He tried to tell her with his eyes that it’s okay and that they didn’t need to worry the others, but either she didn’t understand him or didn’t agree with his idea.

“His cancer has returned and spread,” her voice was quiet and full of compassion.

He sighed, looked to the ground and rubbed his arm, clearly uncomfortable. This wasn’t how he had wanted them to find out. Honestly, he had hoped they would never find out. He could hear Yaz gasp in shock and he could clearly picture their shocked faces in his mind, despite not looking up to prevent exactly seeing that. Life really wasn’t fair.

“Granddad…” he heard Ryan whisper and the clear worry in his voice made him finally look up.

When he did, he wished he hadn’t. All three of them had a worried expression on their face. Yaz was close to tears, but so was Ryan even though it wasn’t so clearly visible with him, but Graham knew his grandson, knew his body language, so it was clear as day for him.

Suddenly his face changed to an angry expression though, “You don’t look surprised. You  _ knew _ !”

He had to look away, when he saw the anger and disappointment in the other’s eyes. He hadn’t wanted to hurt Ryan but apparently by not telling, he still had. Rubbing his arm again, he only shrugged in confirmation, not knowing how to excuse his actions. How to lessen the impact of the news. How to stop it from hurting.

“How long have you known?”

“Around a week,” his voice was rough from the emotions rushing through him. He hated that he made Ryan sound so angry and sad. Grace would surely be disappointed in him. Unconsciously his hand found his necklace again, still finding comfort in the action.

“Why didn’t you tell us? Tell me?” The accusation cut through him, hurting him because of its truth.

Graham didn’t know how to answer though. How could he explain that he hadn’t wanted to hurt them, to make them worry when there was nothing to be done? When it was just a fact and something he hadn’t really worked through on his own? He just shrugged once again.

“I don’t know… You already lost your gran. I guess I didn’t want to make you worry for and old codger like me”

“You’re an idiot. Of course, I worry. You’re my granddad after all.”

He then looked up again and at Ryan. The worry was clearly visible but so was the sincerity. He really meant it and it warmed his heart. They had come such a long way from where they first started and now it was going to end far too soon. It just wasn’t fair, but that’s life.

“I’m sorry”

A short and uncomfortable silence engulfed the room, since no one knew what else to say. Until Yaz turned towards the Doctor. “Can’t you do something? Surely there is some place where they can heal his cancer?”

Now everyone looked at her. Graham turned more slowly; small hope blossomed in his heart but deep down he already knew it was futile. If there had been a way, she would have said so immediately and not stayed so uncharacteristically silent. Her face was crestfallen and sad, and he knew his fear was correct.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Graham. They have eliminated humans getting cancer in the future, but they never found a cure for it,” her voice was quiet and the sincerity in it made Graham smile. He was grateful he had had the chance to get to know someone as amazing as the Doc.

“It’s alright Doc. I already thought you would say that. I’m okay. I have lived my life and it’s alright”

“No, it’s not! Come on, there has to be some place where they can help him! You can just let him suffer through this!”

Surprisingly it was Ryan who shouted, his voice angry and desperate.

Graham went to him and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder, “It’s alright son. It’s not her fault”

But from her expression he saw that even she herself disagreed with his statement.

“I’m sorry Ryan, but there really isn’t…,” suddenly she stopped talking and running towards the console, pressing buttons frantically.

“Doctor…?”

“I’m so stupid! I thought there was no place or time that found a cure, but I am stupid!” she pressed some more buttons, excitedly hopping around the console, while the Tardis took flight, “I thought there wasn’t, but I just remembered! There’s a small colony near Bashmu in 3387 that tried to find one and succeeded, but since they already stopped people from getting cancer it was basically useless and forgotten, even by me until now!” She smiled brightly at them; her happiness contagious.

Ryan immediately relaxed at her words, trusting her to have found the right solution and Graham envied him. He wished he could believe her on this, but if his first fight with cancer had thought him one thing, it was not to give into hope so soon. It would only heighten the pain he would feel if the treatment or plan didn’t work.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

They had arrived at the colony shorty after and explained the situation to their chief physician, who was excited to finally get to heal someone again. The hospital was huge and filled with various futuristic looking equipment, making it look like they knew what they were doing, but Graham still didn’t really believe they could heal him.

It was just like his first treatment plan. Back then Dr. Wilson had been confident it would work too, but it hadn’t so they had to switch it after weeks of going through the exhausting first therapy. It had hurt a lot back then but then again, the new treatment had worked, for which he was glad. But after that he always had been cautious with getting his hopes up.

They prepped him for surgery and gave him some weird anaesthesia, which made his head all cloudy and him fall asleep very quickly. The others had wished him good luck and then everything went black.

When he awoke the next time, his mind still felt foggy. He slowly opened his eyes and looked groggily around. He didn’t feel any different to before. After a short look around he saw Ryan sitting in a chair next to his bed, asleep. A bit farther away on a couch was Yaz, currently also asleep. Standing next to it was the Doc. She was looking at him and he knew immediately that everything had worked. She noticed him and gave him a big bright smile, going to him and giving him a glass of water for his parched throat.

“They did it. You are now cancer free and will be for forever!”

Suddenly relief flushed through him. It was unbelievable but he knew she told the truth; it was clearly written on her face. He never had thought this would actually work, had resigned himself to his fate and his upcoming death but now that he knew his worries were over, he couldn’t hold back a few tears. He swiped them away with his hands and gave her a grateful smile. “Thank you. Really Doc, thank you”

“Just don’t do something stupid and tell us the next time when something is wrong,” came the sleepy voice of his grandson. Graham looked at him and nodded sincerely. He knew and understood now.

“I’m glad you’re okay though,” Ryan whispered, smiled at him and took his hand.

“Me too”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope I didn't make them too OOC, since I've nerver tried my hand on the fam before, or posted any DW fic really. 
> 
> Also can you believe that for five seconds during Spyfall I was actually afraid they would make my fear real? Urgh.


End file.
